No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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