ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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