Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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