Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
