A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i will never coherently bang her
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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