Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
pray to the hookup gods
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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