i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
