I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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