Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
