Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
