I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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