She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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