How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When did angry sex become our thing?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
