you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
