you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
