Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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