Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
