i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize