yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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