Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
