It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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