So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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