4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize