whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
