I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize