omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
