why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
