doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
