My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
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If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
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It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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