If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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