i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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