I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Randomize
