Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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