I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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