Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
