I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize