Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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