I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
