well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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