just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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