We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
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Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
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I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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