i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dignity is for republicans.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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