Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
