He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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