My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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