marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We smell like vodka and hangover
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