Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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