I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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