You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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