Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You don't make any sense
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