i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
