Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she told me i tasted like america
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
