We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
