I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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