And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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