We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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