He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize