You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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