I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I lost the right to judge tonight
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
