Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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