Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
