he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You have to summon your inner elephant
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
