Someone shit on the floor
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
its liver damage thursday
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize