Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
how does that bad decision feel?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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