my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.