i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...