I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen