yea but for you.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
whose ass print is on the piano?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go