I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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