Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes

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  (541): He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes http://tfl.nu/g6v6
  Replies (19) Good night (612) Bad night (3535)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  worst lay ever....

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  as long as you cum, there is no bad sex

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement

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  (403): worst lay ever.... (780): as long as you cum, there is no bad sex (403): ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement http://tfl.nu/cjn6
  Replies (32) Good night (638) Bad night (6700)
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  (949): View more from California

  dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat

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  (949): dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat http://tfl.nu/yghv
  Replies (18) Good night (4660) Bad night (512)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.

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  (865): I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is. http://tfl.nu/unb6
  Replies (13) Good night (4841) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?

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  (502): What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes? http://tfl.nu/o5zg
  Replies (17) Good night (4499) Bad night (1075)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"

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  (208): The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?" http://tfl.nu/toa2
  Replies (17) Good night (7823) Bad night (1660)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower

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  (250): I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower http://tfl.nu/dtnj
  Replies (14) Good night (6069) Bad night (1101)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine

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  (214): I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine http://tfl.nu/t8mm
  Replies (21) Good night (3548) Bad night (1768)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right

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  (+44): I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right http://tfl.nu/f22x
  Replies (20) Good night (2515) Bad night (593)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj

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  (914): I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj http://tfl.nu/ijru
  Replies (5) Good night (1379) Bad night (390)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper

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  (303): I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper http://tfl.nu/1zv1
  Replies (1) Good night (314) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?

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  (+44): are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper? http://tfl.nu/40vp
  Replies (3) Good night (834) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm cool with that

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  (339): I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo (781): I'm cool with that http://tfl.nu/a1rl
  Replies (3) Good night (1282) Bad night (248)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one

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  (306): he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one http://tfl.nu/3jlh
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (293)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.

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  (412): In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/p6qy
  Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (204)

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