it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If its not for food we ain't going out.