Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
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Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?