she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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